*Grunts in Nic Cage*

Of course I’m going to pay $19.99 + tax to watch Nic Cage not say a word. He stares and grunts (you can actually tell, from the grunt, that it’s Nic Cage) and kicks ass but doesn’t say a damn word.

It’s funny that the premise for this movie is one of my childhood nightmares. We had Circus Pizza that, I shit you not, had these terrifying animatronic animals that sang with jerky movements.

Beyond the battle with creepy animatronics, there isn’t much to the movie. Cage saves the day by drinking some crazy energy pop (yes, it says “pop” on the can) and then playing pinball on a machine he found in the kitchen. There’s even a dance montage that I did NOT see coming.

It was ah-maze-ing.

My favorite part is the girl, as she’s being dragged outside Willy’s Wonderland, says about Cage’s character:

He’s not trapped in here with them. They’re trapped in here with him.

–  The Final Girl

The movie gets a pretty high Tomatometer rating on Rotten Tomatoes, which I’m not surprised about. Because you don’t watch a Nic Cage movie for the plot. You watch it because Nic Cage is in it.