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St. Agatha: A Pregnant Nun
I’m a spoiler Turns out I had started this movie…well, that is a great sign that I started it and forgot about it. So, here’s the deal. Woman gets pregnant, gets abandoned by men, goes to a convent run by a nun who actually gave birth to a baby in that house. Yep. Pregnant nun. That shit tipped me off. What ensues is gruesome puke-eating sadistic torture that usually doesn’t accompany a convent full of nuns. I expected possession or other demon/cult-like shit…nope. Sellin’ babies! And they don’t even give you the satisfaction of knowing whether or not the sadistic nun is alive, dead, or perhaps possessed?! If there’s a…
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Satanic Panic: You will never not say “WTF”
My thing right now is just going down this list and seeing what happens. At the top is Satanic Panic. And omfg what the shit is this? The first minute of the movie I was convinced this was one of the worst movies I’d ever seen. And then fucking Jerry O’Connell shows up. The soul-patch aside, Jerry is one of the bright spots in this movie. But they kill him off in his first scene! And then it got worse and weirder…and then Ruby Modine takes over. Between her and Jerry, I’m slightly conflicted whether like their parts enough as opposed to everything else in it. Interspersed with those crazy…
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You Should Have Left: Don’t Turn on Your Captions
Upon my “[movie] explained” search, I discovered the screenplay was based on a book. This makes sense: there are some books better left to books.
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Sweetheart: What kind of scaly manfish are you?
"Old-school monster action meets island survival thrills." Yep, that's it.
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My Favorite Horror Movies
Because I can't remember all of these...
