The Masked Singer One of my guilty pleasures *may* be music reality shows (The Voice is my favorite, but I lowered myself to American Idol recently). I heard about the Season 5 winner (which was pretty obvious), so I decided to start with Season 1. I mean, if you can handle Jenny McCarthy (she wasn’t terrible), Robin Thicke, and some Nicole person from…Fifth Harmony? Oh and Nick Cannon. (Ken Jeong is my favorite.) . . . it’s not a bad show. While the episodes are pretty formulaic, I enjoy the challenge of trying to identify a voice. On the flip side, I haven’t heard of a quarter of these people.…

Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife...

Just watch it.

Modern horror movies have become so easy to predict. And by that, I mean, I usually predict the ending sucks. And this one sucked. The worst part about it is that you think that those 90 minutes might be leading up to some awesome ending, but instead…it got fucked up. You’ve seen this setup before. Couple moves away from the big city to the quiet. The husband is a cheating asshole. The woman has an eating disorder, which never really ties back into the story. The house is probably haunted. The husband is probably a murderer. Well, he is, you find out pretty quickly. And the ghost? Trying to warn…

TW: rape, rape culture I saw this movie a while ago but just didn’t feel good about watching it. In fact, I’ve warned some friends away from watching it, knowing their histories of being raped or sexually assaulted. After watching Promising Young Woman, I felt empty. There’s nothing to cheer about, even at the end. This one surprised me–when you hear a female-directed revenge horror movie, you scream “YES!” and pre-buy on Vudu. I’m all for women-powered revenge movies. Taking back the narrative. But as with all of the posts that are published on this blog, this is my opinion as a movie watcher. And I watch movies to get…

How far will one mother go to protect her son? Duh, all the way. Which is why I’ve been avoiding this movie. Of course, she’ll do anything for her little monster. Not a new premise. Next! The acting isn’t half bad. The kid…he’s pretty fucking creepy. Especially when he’s eating entrails. Where have all the good horror movies gone?! Nothing is original anymore. It’s like they’re all having a gross-out using the same plotlines. Here’s this crazy looking demon and weird ass cult and you get a teeny tiny taste of it at the beginning and end. Great, thanks. I watched this kid eat people and MOAN for 90 minutes…

Having lived through The Blair Witch, I am not one for found-footage movies. (Let’s be clear, I hated it as much then as I do now.) I’ve seen this one floating around and may have even started it at some point. My issue with this movie, like so many others, is that the first 45 minutes of the movie is just fucking nonsense. I was bored and therefore tuned out so by the time they got to all the creepy clown dolls moving everywhere, I really gave no shits. For me, I don’t watch horror movies for the scares. There’s a satire I like to it – in the good…

Because I have no shame, I'm just going to say it: I LOVE Adam Sandler.