The Call of the Wild: It’s not for kids (or adults)

First of all, it is not my personal opinion that this movie is for kids.

Second, I did not start this movie.

I am saying all this because my 6-year-old, despite the PG rating, was sobbing within the first 10 minutes. The movie is one tragedy after another. Many of them involving our beloved doggos (they are so badly CGI but STILL).

We stopped pretty early on, but I ended up watching the rest of it because I was curious if it got any better (I don’t know why I can’t remember seeing this as a kid, because I know there’s another version of this…).

It doesn’t. Here’s what happened:

• The dog gets kicked out of the house and then gets dognapped.
• He is sold into a sled-dog team and gets whipped.
• The pack leader of this team is an asshole and is aggressive towards Buck (that’s THE dog) and the other dogs.
• But then Buck ends up beating him in a match and the dog goes off into the wilderness, never to be seen again.
• Oh yeah, but that fight scene starts out as the Alpha beating up the other sad dogs.
• Then the team’s musher (a mailman) loses his job so Buck is back in dog-jail.
• Then he gets picked up by the evil Dan Stevens who tries to beat him so they’ll go off on this trail that will get him killed (Stevens wants the gold).
• During this time you find out Harrison Ford’s son died, and that he writes these letters to his former spouse about it, basically wanting to die.
• Dan Stevens ends up losing all the dogs when he tried to make them cross and unstable lake. Buck makes it out but the rest of the dogs go on. Apparently they ran away but you never hear about them again.
• Well then Ford takes Buck to this cabin. Buck wants to be free, Ford sorta gets it.
• So then Dan Stevens stabs Ford, essentially freeing Buck to be the pack leader of some wolves.

It’s tiring just writing out the plot. Jesus.

Now that’s just the plotline. I’d skip it just for the CGI and absurdness of the characters. Harrison Ford just needs to retire from acting. He seems like he’s going through the motions. And Dan Stevens plays a buffoon, of sorts – a very comical looking buffoon. Seems out of place.