Cabin Fever: Just…F*ck

I thought I had seen this shit before.

I had, just the older 2002 version with Ryder Strong (you know I loved me some Boy Meets World).

Netflix kept prompting me to watch it, so FIIIIIIIIIINE.

It’s got all those shitty, teenage horror tropes. The last small-town gas station with unwelcoming townsfolk. Long sex scenes that add nothing to the plotline. Gratuitous boobs.

Well, it suddenly gets worse when one of the blondes gets fingered and, to EVERYONE’s horror, her vagina is rotting off. From there, it’s a lot of spitting blood and rotting vaginas. Until, the other rotting teen (the rotting teen they put in a fucking shed) asks her boyfriend to kill her to put her out of her misery. Well, you know, the gun isn’t working (turns out he had the safety on…not kidding). So instead, he grabs a shovel and decides to hit her mouth?!

And then, she’s screaming at him to TRY AGAIN so he uses gasoline to light her on fire! He stands there with barely a tear in his eye.

Fuck.

Recommended for…

Bros