Child’s Play Remake: I’m finally OK with creepy doll movies

I’m a spoiler

I have been terrified of dolls for years (I do place partial blame on the dolls I inherited from my grandma). I have vivid memories of being scared shitless of the original Child’s Play.

What makes the 2019 version different than the original is that it’s a doll whose love takes a murderous turn as opposed to a murderous criminal who inhabits a doll’s body and sets to murder everyone (including the kid). It’s a little easier for me to stomach that way.

In a way, what Chucky does is logical – he bonds with Andy and kills anything that hurts him. (I was so excited for Chucky to kill Karen’s asshole boyfriend.)

And though I typically despise remakes, this one bucks the trend of being a shitty remnant of the original.

The Chucky plotline works perfectly with today’s technology – what’s scarier than a fucking psycho doll who can control your entire tech footprint? Brilliant.

And the movie does, in its way, pay homage to the original. My favorite part is when the kid gives him a name (Hans Solo) and the doll replies, “Did you say ‘Chucky’?” The kid cries incredulously: “No! Not even close!”

Here are the things that I love about this movie:

• The opening scene tells you everything you need to know about what’s going to happen so you’re not left wondering how they’ll set up the movie.
• These characters! Between Aubrey Plaza, her movie son who is just great here, and I love the neighbor’s son, Mike. I laughed at a lot of their interactions and enjoyed the comedic aspect
• How did I not know Mark Hamil is the voice of Chucky? (His voices are just magical.) Fun fact: Brad Dourif, my favorite character in Deadwood, voiced the original Chucky.
• I was DYING when Andy started teaching the doll to make weird-ass faces and scare the shit out of Brad? Is his name Brad? Oh no, it’s Shane. Same thing.
• The ending scene where the kids go kinda Office Space on Chucky’s head.
• At the end of the day, you can feel satisfaction from watching this movie. Some nice characters get killed but it’s quick and you don’t have to watch it. Whereas those baddies…well. They get the horror ending they deserve.

Recommended for children of the ’90s, Aubrey Plaza fans, fans of satisfying death scenes, folks who love awesome remakes.